Destination TBD: The Final Count Down

The count down has begun: as I write this, we have three nights left before we return home. Nerves are frazzled, temperaments are testy, the calendar (all of a sudden) has taken the center stage. The Big Trip, as I liked to call it, is over (this one at least). Those who like to "debate" about such things might say, "Now, don't say that, think of it as a detour on the winding road of life." I'm not one of those people, not unless I've had a little wine and find myself in one of those moods where everyone is your best friend and quoting spiritually inclined bumper stickers passes for wisdom. No,no... this chapter has ended. Hell, the book is nearly finished. But what does the appendix hold?

We will return home like brand new cars: without scratches and dents, rust or dings... we will return home like flowers before they have been cut and picked and shoved into an arrangement pleasing to another's eye. Somehow in the last year, without phones and schedules and appointments and bills and anything -- any word -- that ends with 'ility'... somehow we have become like new again. Babies with attitude, if you will (I say attitude because we can wear funky shoes and hold a conversation with multi-syllable cuss words).

We are like babies: with open minds and open hearts, carefree & unconcerned, curious, and wise. Yes, wise... wise in a way that can only be found when there is nothing to worry about, because gossip and stress and disappointment no longer exist. Perhaps traveling through Buddhist lands has had some effect on our outlook: when you rise above all of that shit, happiness can be found (note: this is not a direct quotation). Perhaps we have been affected by the freedom from all the things that distract us back home. It's a great feeling, I can tell you that: a clean mind.

We have already felt the effects of what life will be like upon our return: little things here and there. We've talked about the lack of closet space in our apartment (and felt annoyed); I've pondered which cell phone company I should sign up with (and felt like cutting out my tongue so I can't use a cell phone); we've discussed the increased price of public transportation in the city (and seethed in anger so long forgotten); we've argued about what color the new bedspread should be (actually I made that one up, but you get the point). It's so stupid and silly to get affected by these things, but it happens. I am remembering it all now as if it was only yesterday... and this is what Benjamin and I fear the most: losing our clean minds.

At least we know what to do, though, when we come home pissed off because someone with road rage called us names. We'll know what to do when the cable goes out for a day and we're still billed for static. We'll know what to do when the neighbors leave banana peels on the sidewalk in front of the house. We'll know what to do when the mail man just can't remember to put our mail in our box. We'll know what to do when the bus driver pulls away from the curb after we've run 4 blocks to catch up. We'll know what to do with all the stuff that's annoying and ultimately distracting: we'll remind ourselves how it feels to have a 'clean mind'. Or maybe we'll just hop on a plane to detox: we're already saving for dTBD II.