Hey
Small Talk
We spent our last evening in Varkala "hanging out with the boys." Benjamin has a knack for befriending the waiters at the restaurants where we hang out when traveling. I'm just the girl who tags along... especially in India, where a woman's role, from what I can tell, is to be invisible. The guys were nice enough, though, despite the fact that I'm not male, and the thought of a drink of whisky sounded pretty good.
Earlier in the day, Benjamin told me that we were going to have whisky that night. "Whisky!" I exclaimed, "Where did you get that?" The feeling was like scoring alcohol in high school, its lure exaggerated by the fact that it was hard to come by.
"The guys are going to take care of it. They want to have a party for our last night." Apparently Benjamin had given them a 500 rupee note for the 250 rupee bottle... change was to come later. But when later came, we found out that we were the patrons of the party. We were invited to a party that we paid for. The Indian way, I guess!
The sun set, we had dinner, and then the party began. Our "hosts" were Lal (pronounced lol), Dalin (which sounds like darlin' with a southern accent), and Jacob (pronounced yay-cub). Lal ran the hotel where we stayed; Dalin was the waiter at the 'Fisherman's Nest', our frequent hangout next door to the hotel, and Jacob was the waiter at the 'Brown Indian Mini Cafe', next door to the 'Fisherman's Nest'.
The three of them were good hosts, and spent our money well: they procured the whisky (and some grass) and provided beer, water, soda, and some snacks: an omelette and a plate of spicy beef (in Kerala, beef is not taboo as in the rest of India).
I'm not great with small talk, even in my native language, so when Benjamin had run out of things to say, the night was full of long stretches of silence -- the kind that live on the border of uncomfort and relief. After a significantly long stretch of quiet, I thought of a great ice breaker.
"What do you guys do for fun?" I asked.
I was met with blank stares.
I asked again, this time louder. For some reason, people speak louder when trying to communicate with someone who speaks a different language, as if the volume will suddenly make things clear...
Again, blank expressions.
I asked again, this time louder AND slower. When trying to break the communication barrier, slowing things down usually does the trick. If not completely understood, the question will be regarded with a nod of the head or some similar feedback that lets you know the question was, at least, heard. You'd expect this kind of reaction to the 'increase volume' technique... I think the 'slow it down' technique gets the response because by this time, it's the third time the question has been asked, and it's just too embarassing to go at it for another round.
Nothing.
Sensing that the question needed to be rephrased, I finally asked, "What do you do in your free time?"
An uproar ensued. "Aaaah, O-oo-oh! Ha, ha, ha."
They understood.
"We have no free time," they chuckled at the ridiculous question. "We just work. Every day is the same: Eat, work, eat, sleep... next day same." I wasn't all that unfamiliar with the pattern, but at least I can make time for a hobby, a night out with a friend, a game of cards, a good book, a movie, a museum, reality tv. Their work day starts at 6 am and ends at 10 pm, all for 80 rupees. That's about U.S. $2.00.
As expected, my next topic of converstation went nowhere. Neither Lal, Dalin, or Jacob could think of one UFO sighting. Either India has none, or they have just never heard about it, or they didn't understand my question and answered with a nod after the 'slow it down' technique was applied, just to get the conversation over with.
At some point in the night, talk turned to religion. We were 1 atheist and 1 agnostic (or 'undecided' as we told the guys), a muslim, hindu, and christian... It was interesting to be in the company of such a varied bunch. In Kerala, all religions are practiced, without friction. Even single families reflect the mix of our little party.
Kerala's religious tolerance goes beyond a chosen faith -- a lot of 'rules' were broken that night. Lal, a Hindu, ate some beef. Jacob, a muslim, drank alcohol. Dalin, a Christian, had some fun. Benjamin and I, obviously, broke no rules because we don't have any to abide to.
Earlier in the day, Benjamin told me that we were going to have whisky that night. "Whisky!" I exclaimed, "Where did you get that?" The feeling was like scoring alcohol in high school, its lure exaggerated by the fact that it was hard to come by.
"The guys are going to take care of it. They want to have a party for our last night." Apparently Benjamin had given them a 500 rupee note for the 250 rupee bottle... change was to come later. But when later came, we found out that we were the patrons of the party. We were invited to a party that we paid for. The Indian way, I guess!
The sun set, we had dinner, and then the party began. Our "hosts" were Lal (pronounced lol), Dalin (which sounds like darlin' with a southern accent), and Jacob (pronounced yay-cub). Lal ran the hotel where we stayed; Dalin was the waiter at the 'Fisherman's Nest', our frequent hangout next door to the hotel, and Jacob was the waiter at the 'Brown Indian Mini Cafe', next door to the 'Fisherman's Nest'.
The three of them were good hosts, and spent our money well: they procured the whisky (and some grass) and provided beer, water, soda, and some snacks: an omelette and a plate of spicy beef (in Kerala, beef is not taboo as in the rest of India).
I'm not great with small talk, even in my native language, so when Benjamin had run out of things to say, the night was full of long stretches of silence -- the kind that live on the border of uncomfort and relief. After a significantly long stretch of quiet, I thought of a great ice breaker.
"What do you guys do for fun?" I asked.
I was met with blank stares.
I asked again, this time louder. For some reason, people speak louder when trying to communicate with someone who speaks a different language, as if the volume will suddenly make things clear...
Again, blank expressions.
I asked again, this time louder AND slower. When trying to break the communication barrier, slowing things down usually does the trick. If not completely understood, the question will be regarded with a nod of the head or some similar feedback that lets you know the question was, at least, heard. You'd expect this kind of reaction to the 'increase volume' technique... I think the 'slow it down' technique gets the response because by this time, it's the third time the question has been asked, and it's just too embarassing to go at it for another round.
Nothing.
Sensing that the question needed to be rephrased, I finally asked, "What do you do in your free time?"
An uproar ensued. "Aaaah, O-oo-oh! Ha, ha, ha."
They understood.
"We have no free time," they chuckled at the ridiculous question. "We just work. Every day is the same: Eat, work, eat, sleep... next day same." I wasn't all that unfamiliar with the pattern, but at least I can make time for a hobby, a night out with a friend, a game of cards, a good book, a movie, a museum, reality tv. Their work day starts at 6 am and ends at 10 pm, all for 80 rupees. That's about U.S. $2.00.
As expected, my next topic of converstation went nowhere. Neither Lal, Dalin, or Jacob could think of one UFO sighting. Either India has none, or they have just never heard about it, or they didn't understand my question and answered with a nod after the 'slow it down' technique was applied, just to get the conversation over with.
At some point in the night, talk turned to religion. We were 1 atheist and 1 agnostic (or 'undecided' as we told the guys), a muslim, hindu, and christian... It was interesting to be in the company of such a varied bunch. In Kerala, all religions are practiced, without friction. Even single families reflect the mix of our little party.
Kerala's religious tolerance goes beyond a chosen faith -- a lot of 'rules' were broken that night. Lal, a Hindu, ate some beef. Jacob, a muslim, drank alcohol. Dalin, a Christian, had some fun. Benjamin and I, obviously, broke no rules because we don't have any to abide to.
posted by Cheryn at 5:12 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home